Things Eric Really Likes

Prince Fielder gay? Or just curious...

2012-01-26T12:21:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a trooper...

I like a great deal, and a free boob.

2012-01-25T14:54:00.000-08:00

(Click on the photo to see all the action!!!)

New Morning by Bob Dylan

2012-01-19T15:36:00.000-08:00

Great record. Love it. There are very few Dylan records you can listen to on a Sunday morning. It's true. Highway 61 Revisited for instance. Who wants to listen to Mr. Tambourine Man on a Sunday morning?
But this one's good...

Neil Diamond Shilo Record

2011-11-10T15:07:00.000-08:00

I bought this a few weeks back from The Brown Elephant resale shop. I didn't own a Neil Diamond record, but I've passed up a bunch before. This one looked like an early one of his, so I thought what the heck? It's just a buck.

I come to find this is a compilation record from his time at Bang Records. He recorded with Bang from 1966-67, and this album was released in 1970.

It's a pretty great record. It has 12 songs, none of them longer than 3:28. So it's a quick record. I also learned that Neil Diamond wrote Red Red Wine. Nice.

Side one

"Shilo"
"Kentucky Woman"
"Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon"
"You Got to Me"
"Monday, Monday" (John Phillips)
"Cherry, Cherry"

Side two

"Solitary Man"
"I'm a Believer"
"Red Red Wine"
"Thank the Lord for the Night Time"
"I'll Come Running"
"Oh No No (I Got the Feelin')"

This screenshot I pulled from Huffington Post.

2011-11-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

Nice placement, Chase.

The Album, Silver Tongued Devil and I, by Kris Kristofferson

2011-09-05T12:38:00.000-07:00

I'm listening to this record like a mother fucker. Love it. Every song. Below are two of my favorites.

70 Year old Paul McCartney

2011-08-06T17:03:00.000-07:00

On the second verse, his voice cracks on "Agaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiin!!!"

Fucking great.

Soft Pack Cigarettes

2011-07-27T18:02:00.000-07:00

I'm not a regular smoker, but it's hard to not crave a cigarette after the tobacco glorification that takes place in a Wes Anderson movie, Woody Allen movie, or anything French New Wave.

When this happens, soft pack cigarettes are the way to go. Marboro, Camel, whatever. Soft packs fit easily in your breast pocket, and if you smoke enough, you will learn to 'shake' a single cigarette out of the pack instead of grabbing for one out of a hard pack.

Finding Tom Waits records in New York.

2011-06-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

Walking down Broadway in Greenwich, we stumbled upon a street vendor selling books, adult magazines, and records.

I hit a gold mine though. Six Tom Waits records to add to my collection for on $25. (Yes, that's Rain Dogs and Swordfish Trombones.)

New York

2011-06-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

Just coming off the best New York trip of my life. Chinatown, SoHo, the tallest brownstones in the country, walking with pizzas, street vendors, seeing FredArmisen cross the street, wishing I would've shouted, "Put a bird on it!," but he had already passed by.

I walked more than I ever walkedon any vacation in my life.

The World Hotel, located in Chinatown is the best worst hotel in New York, I'm convinced.

Cafe Habana was exactly how I remembered it----opened doors, small formica tables, and relaxed/effortlessly cool people, coming down for a bite between chapters of their novel, or blog entry.

On the first sunny day on any New York Trip, you must go to SoHo. The large, historic, brick buildings swallow you up, and the retail (which includes street vendors) are an inviting, beautiful, stuffy mess compared to the more reserved Greenwich Village or business-only upper Manhattan.

As I said, our trip consist

ed of walking---a lot of walking. One day we strolled from 2nd Street to 51st, with a brunch stop at Vesellca), a boutique in St. Marks, and a shoe repair where I bought $2.00 laces for

my SeaVees and almost purchased a pair of ZigZigs (high top Bohemian shoes), but decided not to after trying them on.

MOMA was modern, The Met was thorough (Alexander McQueen, wow), and The Guggenheim was a concentrated look at Cubism from 1909 to 1915 (Did you know that many artists of this time would date their work earlier then its creation, so the artist could claim they invented Cubism?).

Guggenheim was difficult to get to though. Not because I still don't have a smart phone, but getting to Guggenheim meant leaving the Central Park grass.

Central Park is big, but if you ever go on a sunny weekend day, find the spot where everyone is at, laying down, playing frisbee, dancing without music.

Laying, there in the grass, you want to think about life, how the moments, the vacations made for times like this, when you are sitting back as the world around you is sitting back as well, when someone may take a random photo of you, and that photo will end up in an antique store 60 years later, and patrons will look at it and say, "wow, it was so nice back then."

The Commitment to Character of Macho Man Randy Savage

2011-05-21T12:20:00.000-07:00

I don't like Professional Wrestling. To me, it seems like a lot of theatrics all for the sake of fake fighting. Sure the drama is there, the shit-talking, the build up, the long walk to the ring, the theme songs ,but the actual wrestling reminds me of ten year old boys playing ninjas in the back yard.

But still, I applaud Macho Man Randy Savage for his commitment to character. You have to admit, that alter ego was creative---the sun glasses, big hats, bright colors, the deep raspy voice, and corny way. Today's wrestlers (for the most part) don't have the style and commitment.

The name should be noted: Macho Man Randy Savage. I love that name, cause it's so simple. There's no origin implied----he's just a 'macho man,' end of story.

His commitment was key though, and something I respect. Even if I don't like wrestling, wrestlers, and most of the people that watch these acts of futility.

Jonathan Richman

2011-03-23T18:27:00.000-07:00

"I'm going to cry when this man dies."

That was a quote from my brain as Jonathan Richman thanked the audience at the end of his live show -----a thank-you that proceeded with Richman gazing throughout the audience with glassy eyes, starring at his faithful fans, taking it in before walking off stage.

I will always like Jonathan Richman. There are some certainties in life and this is one for me.

I first knowingly heard Richman last summer. While listening to KEXP online I heard Parties in the USA. I immediately fell in love with this song and thought about getting one his albums. Then I got busy with life things and forgot about it.

A few months ago, I got word he was coming to the Metro, so I grabbed a few tickets, and really began to listen to some more songs and learn a little more about him.

I was blown away. Jonathan Richman is part of punk history---a big part. His work with the Modern Lovers in the early 70's is arguably the 'punk bridge' between The Velvet Underground and Television. But Richman didn't want to put out ''Velvet Underground" records, he wanted happier and lighter, so after a few years the original Modern Lovers broke up and Richman started, Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers.

His songs are heartbreakingly honest and innocent. The song Vincent Van Gogh, about the famous painter contains the chorus:

He loved he loved he loved life so bad,

His paintings had twice the color other paintings had.
So bad so bad that the world had to know,
The man loved color and he let it show.

I mean....who looks at Vincent Van Gogh with such new, innocent eyes? When I think of Van Gogh, I think of beautiful painter, ear, and probably a lot of crying.

At the Metro, Richman played mostly new songs, but it didn't matter, they were great. As a friend/musician told me, Jonathan is a songwriter's songwriter. Every song was great, and with Richman, almost 60, spontaneously dancing as the crowd clapped-----it would have been hard to disengage yourself from the performance. Richman performs as if you are in a conversation with a really interesting guy, and he's telling you an awesome story that he's just dying to tell you.

Not sure what I mean? The song below, Everyday Clothes, is one of my favorite performances by Richman. This song and performance feature everything I love about him.

After you watch this, you will understand why I'm going to cry when this man dies.

Understanding my dislike of Kristen Stewart.

2011-03-02T18:24:00.000-08:00

I have never seen a movie with Kristen Stewart in it. My awareness of her comes from interviews on talk shows, the internet, and Twilight schwag at my local grocer. Yet, after stumbling upon an article in the Huffington Post about the new On The Road movie, and seeing a photo of Kristen Stewart in one of the movie stills, I internally rolled my eyes, semi-disgusted by Stewart, in low-top Converse, crammed into a car with Sal and Dean.

Why do I feel this way? I don't know Stewart's work that well. She doesn't have the rap sheet of Gwyneth Paltrow, who has singlehandedly made raising a child look elitist. I couldn't let this go-----what is it about Kristen Stewart?

What I know of her are mostly from her appearances on Jimmy Fallon and Conan. During these interviews, she's both nervous and disengaged-----awkward, yet relaxed. Her answers are short. The conversations between Conan and the bored Stewart mirror a teenager trying to strike up a conversation with the prettiest girl in the school; while he's grabbing for straws, she's checking her watch.

Then it hit me: Kristen Stewart is too cool for school. This is why I don't like her.

So what is 'too cool for school'? Pat O'Br1en, a former teacher of mine and current SNL writer first introduced me to the phrase. He would use it when students weren't 'committing,' or would not participate in a silly choice their scene partner made. Speaking of SNL----Jon Hamm is probably the best SNL host right now. Why? Sure Jon has great comedic timing, but he's also not afraid to take chances and look stupid. His commitment to these bits are priceless. Now think: what if Jon Hamm didn't do SNL? What if he merely played Don Draper on Mad Men, and on his downtime, chose movie roles that were Draper-esque?

This is what bothers me about Kristen Stewart...the safe roles. I'm not talking about Twilight (although I could). I'm talking about movies like Adventureland, featuring Stewart playing a quiet brunette who works at a theme park, wearing ironic, trendy eighties clothing---all the while displaying her best emotion: bored. In the Runaways, she gets to play Joan fucking Jett. Joan Jett in her prime, New York, spiky hair, once again awesome looking punkish clothing.

And now we have On The Road. Stewart gets to hang out with beats and wear clothes she probably already knew she would look good in. I mean, even Gwyneth Paltrow wore a fat suit.

Let me reiterate: when I say 'too cool for school,' I'm not ripping on her acting range, I'm ripping on how she seems like that pretty girl on the back wall of an improv scene that's scared to be anything besides hip. Too me, she's the attractive girl in school that wasn't shy, but also didn't speak out. The type of girl who would go sledding with a bunch of classmates, but then not sled. At parties, she would put in a wallflower's effort, but her looks would attract conversations and repel her from the crown molding. The type of girl that's been called pretty too many times, and like a stone in a strong river, it has smoothed her out to a dull surface.

I knew these girls in school---not well though. They were hard talk to casually, always careful with their words. But every once in a while I'd see a girl like Kristen Stewart in the hallway, wearing a black Ramones shirt, wishing I could go up to her and exchange Joey Ramone impressions. But instead I see her as she wants me to see her---from a far---causing me to internally roll my eyes again, passing judgment on a girl I barely knew.

EGG The Movie

2010-12-19T09:45:00.000-08:00

My Movie's dropping in the next few days. Just in time for Oscar.

2010-11-01T16:01:00.000-07:00

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

2010-10-29T17:52:00.000-07:00

I just finished this classic by Ken Kesey, and although I'd seen the movie (20 years ago), I had forgotton a lot of details between McMurphy being committed to the Indian running through the field.

It's an intense read. Kesey carefully paints the other mental patients not as crazy, but rather unable to relate or cope with the outside world.

I have never been so interested in a book and at the same time dreaded to read further, but I definitely felt this internal conflict after a certain conversation...the conversation was between McMurphy and another patient when he learns, unlike prison, he doesn't have a release date from the mental institution. Nurse Ratched decides.

Much of the first part of the book was McMurphy interacting with the other patients, a lot of laughs on his part, going out of his way to find the best part of the strangest patients.

After 'the conversation,' you feel him cracking, every patient getting on his nerves with their unique quirks, grating on him.

It's like if you were put into a room with six mentally challenged people. It is probably fun helping them out and encouraging them and I'm sure they're having fun. But once someone locks the door, and you have all those eyes looking at you, suddenly playing Connect Four all day is kinda fucked up.

Winter Street (Fiction)

2010-10-27T15:00:00.000-07:00

Kyle shuts his front door, his face now touches the cool November breeze. He taps his front pocket to assure himself his keys are there. He taps it again, they jingle. It occurs to Kyle this is a little obsessive-compulsive, but if it means not getting locked out again, then so be it.

Kyle casually walks down the salt-dusted sidewalk, it's 11am, and he notices the stirring life around him. A brown terrier, connected to a black leash held by an older man approaches Kyle. Kyle looks at the dog, smiling, then looks up at the man, as if approving of the happy dog. The man makes eye contact with Kyle, then looks down at the dog, continues to walking past Kyle, as if through him.

It's cold out, Kyle can see his breath, and because he's so bundled up, can hear himself breathing, like a struggling engine sputtering in the cold. He waits for the stoplight, sees a Street Wise vendor across the street. "Street Wise, Street Wise," the vendor yells, suddenly making eye contact with Kyle, and yells Street Wise again, looking right at Kyle, but not directing the solicitation at him. The light changes, the walk signal illuminates, and Kyle begins to walk. He sees himself as a streetcar for a moment; with a metal pole on his head connected to wires above him, directing him where to move. Kyle glances to his left. at one of the cars at the stoplight, unable to see the passengers cause of the glare. He wonders why they are out driving now. Are they off work, he thinks. Vacation?

He crosses the street, to the following corner, and opens the door to the dry cleaners. Chimes jingle on the door. An Asian lady appears from the forest of clothing. Hello, she says, Kyle, still feeling like he's a street car, says hello back, reaches in his pant pocket for a pink ticket, and hands it to the lady. She enters the forest again before reemerging with a plastic-covered grey sports coat. She removes it from the plastic and the hanger, and hands it to Kyle. He stares at it for a second, then takes his coat off, sets it on the counter, grabs the jacket, puts it on, and stands up on a platform, in front of a three-sided mirror. He stands for a while, looking at himself in the silence of the store, at first noticing the jacket, then assessing himself as a whole.

It's okay, she asks. Yes, Kyle says, losing the staring contest with the mirror. He steps off the platform, takes off the jacket, puts on his winter coat. The lady takes his credit card and puts the jacket back on the hanger, in the plastic.

Kyle swings the hanger over his shoulder as he leaves the cleaners. He heads back home in the cold, figuring it's about time to dry the laundry.

Streetwise, you are killing me.

2010-10-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

I've purchased street wise a few times, with each time not interested with the content of the magazine, but rather just giving money to the person selling it. It's like buying stickers from a blind man. You ain't doing it for the stickers.

After I buy the magazine, it sits on my desk like a piece of junk mail until I decide to throw it away.

If you're wondering what Street wise is, I copy-pasted the ABOUT section from their site:

StreetWise is a not-for-profit organization whose mission is to empower men and women who currently are, or at risk of becoming homeless. StreetWise accomplishes this mission by publishing a weekly magazine which is sold to these men and women(whom we refer to as "vendors"), and they in turn sell it on the street for a profit. The publication is not a hand-out, but rather an opportunity for these vendors to become financially self-sufficient through gainful employment.

This sounds a little futile. I'm sorry, I feel like I'm criticizing the Special Olympics or something, but I just don't see the upside to this at all. How does a vendor become self sufficient selling Streetwise? The vendors probably make barely any money. And aside from the small profit the they make, what are they learning? Streetwise is teaching people on the cusp of homelessness, the trade of being a newsie. And not just a newsie, but a newsie for publication no one wants to read----it's like they're learning a skill somewhere between newsie and sandwich-board walker. They are the street equivalent to an online banner-ad that doesn't interest you, yet you feel a little guilty once you made eye contact with it.

What to do with you Streetwise.....Maybe try this: Change the content!!

No offense to the hardworking writers, but I don't want to read your article on Mayor Daley retiring when I can read it in the Trib, Sun Times, Ny Times, LA Times, HuffPost, or listen to it on NPR, etc. You see what I'm getting at. It's like if I started a sports website competing with ESPN.com----but to view my inferior site, you had to buy access from a homeless man.

This is how we change the content:

The homeless people write the magazine. Well, not actually write it....We take the current writers and make them stenographers to the creative homeless people. Articles are written. The authors (homeless people), get paid, the stenographer (former writer) gets paid, and the vendors have a magazine that is really 'streetwise.'

These articles will be real, with phonetics and all. I want to read an article by a man, with no research, talk about Mayor Daley retiring. I want to read about someone giving strong opinions about Chicago streets ("Ashland...more like Assland!"), I want a cartoon artist to draw funny pages on details that were given to him by a vietnam vet. I want a commentary section, similar to Andy Rooney (probably too similar in fact).

I would definitely buy it, and though some may tell me this is exploiting the homeless, well, I think asking them to buy then sell a bullshit magazine isn't exactly solving the problem either.

Marriage and Cigarettes

2010-10-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

While attending my first bachelor party, I had the pleasure of sitting with some of my married/engaged friends. It felt good, mature. I was hoping a conversation on the topic on mortgage would come up, but it never did.

We were sitting at a outside table at a Wicker Park bar. Half of us were smoking, sharing packs of cigarettes like young, slacker teenagers, where every pack was communal. (We had our own drinks.)

Out of the eight of us, four were smoking. Out of the four smoking, I was the only one not married or engaged.

There was also another difference between me and the other three smokers....

Throughout the night, I heard phrases like, "Please smoke the rest of them, I can't bring this pack home," and "Oh, now I'm going to smell like smoke when I get home," etc.

At first it was funny, but as the night progressed and I heard a few more of these phrases, an erie feeling set over me. What is going on here, I thought. What does marriage have to do with smoking? And maybe it's just me, but if my husband attends a bachelor party, and if the only thing he smells like is cigarettes, then, well, I don't know-- it could be worse. (Stripper pussy is what I mean.)

No offense to my friends, but marriage from the outside is a little funny sometimes. Like The Cosby Show funny, when Cliff Huxtable would sneak hoagies from his wife Claire. (Can't a doctor eat a fucking sandwich?)

But I guess this is part of growing up and getting married (Is it?).

Thanks for the smokes, Brian.

Scenes from the west coast. LA

2010-10-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

Can't get the west coast out of my mind.

I've always considered myself a midwestern man that tilted to the east coast. Rainy Octobers and brownstones were always more dear to me than the hot beaches and warm holidays of the west coast.

And while I still tilt to the east coast, the west I learned is a lot better than I thought. My perception of LA was a combination of nice cars, popular douche bags, paparazzi, The Viper Room, and of course South Central LA.

What I found in the 24 hours I was there was an interestingly erie starkness of rich and poor---and in the middle were starving artists serving you your lunch, informing you of their upcoming show/gig, all the while giving you a healthy dose of name dropping. The rich areas of the city felt like a David Lynch movie, where the safer and cleaner the street was, the more odd it felt. There's something about rows freshly cut lawns and knowing just a few miles away, you can find tent cities and hard core porn in production.

The city has it's fair share of douche bags (thanks TMZ). But it's also full of driven people who moved from wherever to LA to make it big. This move probably took a lot of balls. So LA is filled with dreamers, risk takers, writers, actors, who, talented or not, have huge balls.

And up on Mulholland Drive sits the talented ones, the fortunate ones, the chosen ones. The ones who didn't have to move back home (yet).

It's as if the whole city is a game of Chutes and Ladders, both physically and psychologically, where success and security do not go hand in hand.

This song by Blondie

2010-09-28T13:50:00.000-07:00

I swear this blog isn't turning into a music blog.

This song is pretty great.

Rethinking Elvis

2010-09-21T14:28:00.001-07:00

To me, Elvis is a lot like Jesus Christ;
They have a huge following, are iconic figures, and they would be nowhere without talented writers.

I like both---Jesus for his philosophy and his ability to stretch a meal, and Elvis for his singing, his charisma, and his life story which screams the American Dream.

And like Jesus, I have always avoided Elvis because people think he's the 'King'.......I really don't know what that means. King of Rock and Roll? Why? (For that matter, why is Jesus the Son of Man? Cause he's the son of God? Then why did he die for our sins? Couldn't he of just talked to his father?---I guess this can be hard depending on their relationship. What about Joseph? Was he talking shit to Jesus about God having sex with his wife? Bad blood? Or did Joseph have to think happy thoughts all the time...like that Twilight Zone episode with Ron Howard? Why did Joseph even bother teaching Jesus carpentry? I don't think he's using it now.)

Back to Elvis:

Elvis was a product of Colonel Parker's marketing. I don't want to start a Wiki entry, but the 'King' thing was all about marketing. When you ignore the 'King of Rock and Roll' label, when you ignore his '5 shows a week' stint in Vegas through much of the 70's, and just look at Elvis as a simple performer, he's pretty impressive.

So I am rethinking Elvis. It all started when I heard this song (below). He's rocking out like Buddy Holly. This is 1961, very near the end of Elvis' coolness. The bridge of this song is ridiculous, and the guitar is great.

ELO - Wild West Hero

2010-09-10T13:49:00.000-07:00

How did this not make their greatest hits? It's wonderful.

Tretorns.

2010-09-07T09:23:00.000-07:00

For the last three years, my casual shoe of choice has been PF Flyers. This is no longer the case.

About a month and a half ago, I saw a guy riding his bike, I was riding mine too. We were stopped at a stoplight. He was wearing these white shoes with a little

green band. I asked him what he was wearing, he said Tretorns.

After getting into work, I looked up the brand, and ever since I've been eyeing these white shoes: model T 56.

I tried the Tretorn website and Amazon.com and they both had the shoe, just not in my size. Then I stumbled across another site, and this site did have my size!!

But this site was JCrew.

This scared me.

Then I started picturing all these douchebag Lincoln Park fathers wearing these shoes, while wearing their dirty old college ball cap, and hanging out on Saturday afternoons at bars called, "McBarleys," or "M. Finnebeans."

I know I know, this is totally judgmental, but it did cross my mind. It's interesting how uncool the same shoe can be based on context. I picture eight or so years ago, Keds were only worn by Jewish grandmothers in New York. Then a bunch of these sweet old ladies started dying off, and their granddaughters (still grieving), wanted to wear their nanna's shoes in honor of them---plus it seemed sort of ironic. And now you can't step into a hipster neighborhood without seeing keds on cute hipster girls. (I think the same thing happened with grandfathers and grandsons regarding the boat shoe. Probably not Jewish but rather Irish and also Cape Coddians.)

The white Tretorns (because of JCrew) I thought twice about. Then I came to the realization that I'm not a white shoe guy anyway, and I found a pair of these on Ebay (below).

They are the Tretorn T-56 Bleka model. And I didn't realize this until I bought them, but they are really similar to Keds in this respect: The white logo is the same piece of fabric as the blue around it, and the white toe box is the same piece of fabric as the tongue of the shoe. Picture a blue pair of Keds and then dye the logo and shoe box white (does this make sense?).

There is a better picture below. I need to start wearing socks more.

These are classic, vintage shoes, and that's one of the reasons why I love them. And this last part of my blog is totally unintentional, but I just thought about it right now:

The kid on the bike....he wasn't the first person I ever saw wearing Tretorns. When I was growing up, my grandmother used to wear them while doing chores around the house.

She is still alive and doing great and not Jewish.

Some things about the Reds.

2010-09-03T09:33:00.000-07:00

Lets get this straight: I do not like the Cincinnati Reds, especially this year. They are probably going to win the central division for the first time since '95, and if they beat the Cards two out of three this weekend, the Cards will most likely be done (the Cards have won the Central in 96, 00, 01, 02, 04, 05, 06, 09).

But there are several things I like about the Reds. For starters they have two

aging ex Cards, Scott Rolen and Jim Edmonds.

These two players along with Albert Pujols were part of the MV3 in the mid part of the last decade...when the Cardinals had three players on their team that could have easily taken home the MVP. So there is a soft spot there. Also, from my post early in April, you know that I like aging baseball players, and Edmonds is right up there: 40yrs old, but can still play centerfield, didn't even play last year, and has had a pretty successful comeback this year. Unfortunately, injuries have kept him on the DL a good chunk of the season. Rolen looked old and injured when he left St. Louis after '07, but has regained his old form, which will probably earn him a gold glove this year....and if he can have a few more good seasons late in his career (he's 35), he may make it into the Hall of Fame.

Also, 38 year old Jason Isringhausen is playing for the AAA affiliate Louisville Bats. I hope he gets a call in September and gets on the Reds roster.

The other reason I like the Reds: Dusty Baker.

Cubs fans puzzle the shit out of me sometimes. Their criticisms either don't make sense to me or borders on racism (I said it).

Cubs fans loath Dusty Baker. In fact, they blame him for theBartmen game in '03. Most feel he left Prior in too long. (this is bullshit).

In 2003, Dusty Baker got the Cubs closer to the World Series then they've been since '84. And in 2004, the Cubs had a better record, unfortunately, the Cardinals were 105-57 that year. From 2004-06, Prior and Wood were consistently on the DL...it was a waiting game. Now Wood, the once fierce starter, is a middle-of-the-road set up man for the Yankees, and Prior is out of baseball. After 2006, Baker was fired, Pinella was hired. JIm Hendry, the Cubs GM, I'm guessing found a bunch of money behind a filing cabinet or something, because suddenly he started spending money. Ted Lilly and Alfonzo Soriano to name a few.

Im paraphrasing, but Dusty Baker said of the spending spree, "If I was so bad, then why did they spend so much money to rebuild the team?"

If the Cardinals don't make the playoffs, if the Reds make it to the World Series, if the Reds win the World Series, I will be happy for Rolen, Edmonds, Izzy, and Dusty Baker. I'll also look

forward to hearing Cubs fans reactions of a Champagne soaked Baker.

Sorry this blog post isn't a rip on all Cubs fans in a Cardinal-fan-style way, I think it's just a little puzzling why fans can't stand Dusty Baker the way they do.

Cardinal fans like Joe Torre, and he was the coach through some of the worst times in Cardinal history,1990-95.

Reflections.

2010-09-02T19:35:00.000-07:00

My head feels heavy with thoughts about nothing that means nothing. I hold regret near me, as if clutching it closer and closer will make it dissolve. It doesn't. It clings to me. My past is something I can't erase or even make up for...like running an extra mile for that doughnut you ate. Life is not making up, it's moving along.

Tangled thoughts like a Jacob's Ladder run through my head where the other side can be seen, but many paths, diversions stand in the way of the destination. It's cold.

Self reflection's a waste of time for someone as neurotic as I am. Yet, it's taken self reflection to realize this. (hmm..)

At times the pain has been unbearable, and I search for reasons why I deserve it. It's affected everything around me. My relationships, friendships, etc.

But at least I can take my pants off.

Summer, 2010 song

2010-08-26T16:16:00.000-07:00

Van Morrison, Take it Where You Find It.

This song is the last song on Morrision's 1978 release Wavelength. The song (like a lot of the album), is light, soulful, catchy. Van Morrison loves America, and it shows in this song.

Lester Bangs reviewed Wavelength in Rolling Stone and said:

"Wavelength is a very nice record. I'm sure all the people at Warner Bros. are pleased with it. Ditto the DJs... Still, though, it do confound how such a monumental talent can mire himself in such twaddle, fine as some of it may be."

Bangs can be kind of a douche sometimes.

K-Swiss and their huge balls.

2010-08-25T16:00:00.000-07:00

Until recently, I had forgotten about K-Swiss. They were the shoe my sister wore for about a year in middle school, circa 1992.

I just remember them being fucking ugly white shoes.

Little did I know the balls this company has.

The new K-Swiss campaign is built around spokesman, Kenny Powers. Kenny is a fictional character in the HBO series, East Bound and Down. He is an out of shape former major league pitcher who is also foul-mouthed, sexist, and way too confident. (Season 1 is hilarious. Season 2 begins in September.)

The video to launch the campaign for the new K-Swiss Tubes is just as dirty and hilarious.

Kenny Powers Gets Signed By K-Swiss - watch more funny videos

This campaign is brilliant. Kenny's face is on banner ads, and commercials, and his over-confident, 'yeah, I'm awesome' attitude is throughout.

This next video has the Kenny character with real athletes like Jeremy Shockey, so you get the entertainment from Kenny, but the proof from Shockey. The best part is the last line at the end of the commercial by Kenny; "Tubes---If you don't like them, then change your mind."

I applaud the agency, 72andSunny, for pitching this idea and for K-Swiss getting on board with it. It's very inspiring and reminds me of the possibilities of advertising. What happens if you're given the account of a dead shoe company (or so it seemed to me)? How do you change perception?

I would like to know how the creative team got to "Okay, so the 'Tubes' are the main benefit to these shoes," to "Let's get the Kenny Powers character to be the spokesman."

And the Powers character works so well for this brand. Can you imagine if K-Swiss came at you with a serious, inspiring, Nike-esque campaign? Most people would tune them out or call bullshit. But the Powers character gets you on the side of K-Swiss. You can workout like Jeremy Shockey and not be all up your ass about it.

I really like this campaign. I might actually buy a pair of Tubes because of it.

Steve Fucking McQueen and his glasses.

2010-08-15T17:32:00.000-07:00

Guess what? I bought some glasses. The same kind Steve McQueen used to wear.

Steve McQueen, the coolest person in the world wore mostly Persol sunglasses (he needs his own blog posting). He wore the 649 and the 714 models. The 714's are just like the 649's, but they fold---and are a little more expensive.

I have Persol 649's---actually the hallmark of the classic Italian

eyewear company. I got them on Ebay for around $140...not bad. They retail brand new for $360. The 649's have a cult following, their own Facebook page, and are featured in the Persol history 1950-70:

http://www.persol.com/usa/#/history/1950-1970

But this story gets even better...

While at the Brown Elephant, I came across these (above).

Another pair of 649's in a lighter tortoise shell and perscription (I'd like to meet the bloke who put prescriptions in these.)

The best part of this purchase was the purchase. They were $2.

That's right, $2. About $2.20 after tax.

I need to put sunglass lenses in them though. I thought about keeping them prescription (I have great eyes so it would be a light prescription), but after trying them on, I learned they give me a bad case of the 'Michael Caines.' And not in the good, ironic, hipster way either. (Thought: But does this mean their really hipster? hmm...)

This story has one more little nugget of awesomeness:

While resale shopping in Cali (yes, California), I found this for a dollar:

A vintage carrying case.

Wow, this story is so good, isn't it? And the protagonist, Eric, is getting everything he wants. Wow, I wish other parts of my life were this easy, but at least I can throw on a pair of classic sunglasses, stare up at the sky, and be a bad ass like Steve was.

Cramer Krasselt

2010-08-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

Where has Eric been for the last 10 weeks or for most of the year for that matter?

Well friends, I've been interning at the ad agency, Cramer Krasselt.

Luckily for CK, they've made my Things Eric Really Likes list.

My experience in those ten short weeks was great. The people there were very encouraging and nurturing, I felt my writing improve everyday. I worked on a lot of brands. Under Armour, Air Tran, Crocs, Smart Ones, Porsche, and Edward Jones.

I also worked on this intern project. As interns, we had to introduce ourselves to the agency. I thought of a mockumentary movie trailer about the importance of interning. I interviewed every intern, loosely asking them questions, found a few nuggets for the video. The video turned out great (but I can't find it). What I do have is my interview session. I had another intern ask me questions, and I improvised the answers. The last few minutes of the video is me surfing on the internet and walking around the office. These shots were meant to overlay as I was being interviewed (in case I laughed during the interview, we could show the other shots and edit the 'laugh' out of the audio, for example).

More blogging to come.

Nike's New Ad

2010-04-08T05:34:00.000-07:00

It's pretty ballsy. The voice is of Tiger's late father Earl.

RIP Alex Chilton

2010-03-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

Kinda funny, this morning I was uncharacteristically checking my Facebook, when one of my friend's posted on their wall, "Alex Chilton." I commented with "I'm in love, what's that song?"---a lyric from The Replacements song 'Alex Chilton.'

About an hour later, listening to NPR, buttoning a shirt, they began playing the beginning of Big Star's "Ballad of El Goodo."

I thought, "this song + Alex Chilton reference on facebook = fuck!"

Alex Chilton died.

#1 Record was a big part of my early 20's. I love it. I love the way Replacements frontman Paul Westerberg loved them (I love the Replacements).

It's sad.

Big Star is one of the underrated bands of the 70's. Maybe the most critically acclaimed (non-punk) band of the 70's.

This record is definitely a coming-of-age record. I hope to introduce it to my kid one day.

RIP Alex Chilton.

BTW:

In case you're wondering how fucking awesome and respected Alex was, look at this duet with Yo La Tengo, covering Velvet Underground's Femme Fatale in 2007. (Can that last sentence be more awesome?)

Update:

2010-03-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

Omir made the Topps All Star Rookie Card thing.

Pretty Awesome.

For previous blog: http://thingsericreallylikes.blogspot.com/2009/08/reuniting-with-old-teammates-who-happen.html

A 'Things Eric Really Likes' BLAST FROM THE PAST!!!!

2010-03-14T17:23:00.000-07:00

About a year ago, I blogged about drinking beer in the shower and how great it was. Well, in case you're not reading my back-blogs (shame on you! jk), I would like to inform my readership that I still really like this and probably always will.

http://thingsericreallylikes.blogspot.com/2009/04/drinking-beer-in-shower.html

Athletes who 'hang on too long.'

2010-03-14T15:22:00.000-07:00

Willie Mays is arguably the best player in the history of baseball.

This photo is during one of the last games of his career. Mays was 42 years old and was just called out at home plate and is scene pleading his case to the umpire, begging him to reverse the call.

Many fans and sportswriters take pity on this site. They say things like Mays 'hung on too long,' he 'tarnished his legacy,' he 'embarrassed himself.'

I say fuck them. This photo is awesome.

Why? First off because this is game 2 of the World Series. Secondly, it shows how much fight Willie Mays had. When he was young, he was a flashly, ridiculously talented baseball player, where the game came easy. This photo shows Willie's, (bad knees and all), trying his hardest to compete. It shows his passion and character. And remember, he's in the freaking World Series. (The Mets lost in seven! It was Mays first World Series in twelve years, if they would have won, it would have been his first championship in nineteen years!)

Baseball season is about to begin, which brought to mind one of the things I like most about sports; watching aging athletes hanging on to the game they've played all their life, refusing to retire just yet.

It's intrigued me ever since I was a kid and collected baseball cards. Take Steve Carlton for example. He is probably the best left handed pitcher of all time. He played for twenty-four years. His first twenty-one years are as follows: Cardinals 1965-1971, Phillies 1971-1985. His last three years are as follows: Phillies 1986, Giants 1986, White Sox 1986, Cleveland 1987, Twins 1987-88, finally retiring early in the '88 season. (BTW: He was on the 1987 World Championship Twins team, but left off the post season roster.) Carlton just wouldn't give up!

There is beauty to this. It reminds me of the episode of the Twilight Zone where the old people returned to their youth by playing Kick the Can-----Except these athletes have been playing Kick the Can all their lives, and Rod Serling just informed them their game's about over. So they play as long as they can, even if it means riding the bench.

I'd like to think older athletes appreciate it more. They know their on borrowed time. They're getting less better, they know it. (That's right, 'less better.')

I picture a 42-year old Mays walking by a locker room mirror, taking a long look at himself in a Major League uniform. I picture a 42-year old Mays dog-piling with his Mets teammates half his age after they won the '73 pennant. I picture the same 42-year old Mays in the locker room drenched with Champagne, not feeling 42 years old. Tell that Mays he should retire.

This spring, I'm rooting for Omar Visquel (White Sox, 43), Jamie Moyer (Phillies, 47), Ken Griffey (Mariners, 40), Matt Stairs (Padres, 42), Tim Wakefield (Red Sox, 43), Trevor Hoffman (Brewers, 42).

Also, I'm a baseball geeeeeek.

I really like it when Ryan Howard (The Office) dresses like Ryan Howard and not like BJ Novak

2010-03-10T19:53:00.000-08:00

The Office is one of my favorite shows of all time. The character, Ryan, played by the show's executive producer, BJ Novak, is an unstable intern who's gone through the most physical changes and status changes of any other character on the show. He went from intern to Michael Scott's boss, to sales person (Michael Scott Paper Co.), back to intern. He had a coke problem, had a George Michael beard problem, even had his hair dyed blonde at one time.

Through all these transformations, my suspension of disbelief was suspended.

Until this year. Ryan has started sporting designer glasses, indoor scarfs, expensive plaid shirts, and trendy (expensive?) orange watches. Why? Why is Ryan's character suddenly dressing like a young executive producer? This is different then when he dyed his hair blonde. That was random, silly, something an

unstable Ryan would do. This sudden change in wardrobe needs to be explained. Either Ryan got a subscription to GQ, or BJ Novak is getting lazy.

Either way, the Ryan character is still a douche--but in a different Novaky type of way.

(new douche below).

To: Eric, From: The Brown Elephant

2009-12-27T09:29:00.000-08:00

Original 1994 pressing. Thank you Brown Elephant...You know me so well.

Misleading Headlines.

2009-12-10T22:01:00.000-08:00

I'm working on a campaign for Field & Stream magazine---a magazine that specializes in hunting, fishing, and outdoor things like this. They also have recipes.

While researching the magazine, I came across this article. Read the headline.

I thought this was some weird recipe. Turns out some asshole dumped a bunch of pastries in the middle of the woods and waited for a Bear to come. This is called 'baiting' and it's illegal in hunting. See, I learned something for opening this weirdly worded article.

I would really like for this to happen soon.

2009-12-08T20:11:00.000-08:00

This Neil Diamond Album Cover

2009-12-04T10:26:00.001-08:00

Alright, stay with me now, cause this concept might blow your mind:

Look at the album cover very carefully, and while you're doing so, keep this in mind:

This guy on the album cover is rocking out to music by Neil Diamond.

He's so overcome by the music, he's playing air-guitar, closing his eyes and feeling every note, every beat of music...

...of music by Neil Diamond.

That is one of the reasons why I love this album cover. The other being the way I presume the album cover was chosen.

I picture a coked up Diamond, arriving at the Los Angeles record company at 1pm for a 10am meeting. He's wearing a fur coat, sun glasses, and has a 20year old asian girl by his side he calls Ling Ling.

His agent directs Diamond (glasses still on), to a room where 50 photos from the concert are laid out on a table. He is to choose the cover. While he's looking through the photos, the photographer, as a joke, shows him this one photo where it looks like he's playing air-guitar with his penis. "Hey Neil look at this one!"

Diamond pulls his glasses down to get a better look.

"That's the one," Diamond says. "and we'll call it Hot August Night. Let's get out of here Ling Ling." For the next two hours, Diamond and Ling do drugs and make love numerous times in Diamond's Cadillac which was still parked outside the record studio.

(I must reiterate: The guy on the album cover is listening to fucking Neil Diamond.)

Laughing at Sandra Lee.

2009-12-02T13:01:00.000-08:00

If you are familiar with the personalities of the Food Network, then you are familiar with the talentless piece of shit known as Sandra Lee.

The concept for her show, "Semi-Homemade," is cooking with 70% ready-made products and 30% fresh products. For example; go to the store and buy some canned-chili, then dice up an onion and throw it in the chili. My friends, you just made chili.

It's actually not that bad of a concept. Unfortunately, her meals are ridiculous and goofy.

Check out her Kwanzaa Cake. I'm not sure but I think it's racist.

A few years ago, I discovered something on the Food Network site---the reader comments for her recipes. They are great. Unfortunately, some of the recipes disappear (Kwanzaa Cake no longer there), and some of the positive comments are obviously fake to build the recipe rating.

But you can still find some good ones. But I have added a sample from her famous "Car Cakes" recipe (which main ingredients are a pound cake and a car-shaped cookie cutter). The first reader comment is my favorite---obviously sarcastic.

The Peach Field (A very short story by me)

2009-11-22T22:07:00.000-08:00

The sunshine slowly filled Heather’s room, eventually landing on her sleeping face. Heather opens her eyes carefully, blinded by the morning sun and as she slowly moves her body under the sheets, she hears a crunching sound under her hip. Once again she has fallen asleep while eating biscuits in bed.

“Heather! Heather, get up,” shouts Linda, the African American maid. Heather gasps knowing if Linda found biscuits in her bed again, she wouldn’t let Heather play with father’s taxidermied animals while he was away.

“Yes I am Linda,” Heather yells, beginning to remove the evidence by stuffing biscuit parts in her mouth. “Is something the matter?”

“Today’s the day you walk in the peach field with your Grandmother,” Linda raises the pitch of her voice, “And she’s here!”

Heather’s eyes shot to the calendar on her bedroom wall, sure enough it was the first Monday of April. The first Monday of every month, Heather and her Grandmother go walking in the peach field.

“Okay, be down shortly!” Heather says, with a mouth half full of stale biscuits.

In the kitchen, Linda is taking fresh biscuits out of the oven, while Grandmother is laughing hysterically about a story she just told.

“...you should have seen her; white pants before memorial day,” Grandmother says.

“That must have been some sight Ms. Grandmother,” Linda replies, more interested in removing the fresh biscuits from the oven.

“There’s my girl,” Grandmother says as she notices Heather coming down the stairs. “Are you ready or do you want to eat something?”

“No, I’m good Grandmother, let’s go,” Heather glances at Linda, who is now feverishly churning butter in the middle of the kitchen, “Bye Linda, have fun.”

“Okay, bye.” Linda says, sweating.

The peach field is on the other side of the road of where Heather lives. It’s been in her family for years, Grandmother used to play in it during the depression, when the field was a dust bowl for a little while. She and Heather have been taking these monthly walks for about three years, ever since Grandmother’s doctor told her she needed to exercise and lose weight. Heather likes to motivate her, as they walk in a zig zag motion through the peaches and tall grass.

“Oink oink, Grandmother, find those truffles,” Heather commands, as she dances around her red-faced grandmother.

Not far into their walk, Grandmother pleads, “Let’s take a break,” and begins sitting down. Heather, pretending she didn’t hear, stays in character, “You smell one? You smell a truffle? Oink, oink. Get it!”

Heather eventually snaps out of it and sits next to her panting grandmother. They sit quietly for a while.

“Grandmother?”

“Yes, Heather?”

Heather hesitates, “See...There’s this boy, and, well, I’ve noticed him for a while at Shabbat, and he’s really cute.”

Grandmother smiles, “Oh ya, which one are you looking at?”

“Mitch Steinberg.”

“Oh yes, the Steinbergs. They’re a nice family, I’m sure Mitch is the same.”

“Well, Piggy, what should I say?”

“Piggy’s not my name.”

“Well, Grandmother, what should I say?”

“Compliment him,” Grandmother continued, “Compliment him on his shoes. Men love compliments, and they like it when you talk about them.”

Heather looked at Grandmother and smiled, “Is that what you did with Grandfather?”

“Well,” Grandmother composing herself after a little chuckle. “To tell you the truth, I don’t remember. We were always complimenting each other, I can’t remember who started it though.”

“That’s sweet,” Heather says, plucking a peach from a shallow tree and taking a bite.“What if Mitch doesn’t say anything back? Or he says something mean?”

“Then good!” Grandmother shouts, disturbing a family of birds. “Wouldn’t you rather know it now, then two weeks or two years or twenty years down the road?”

“Know what?”

“Know if he’s the kind of person you want to be around. If a man can’t be nice when you’re complimenting him, then there’s something wrong between his ears.” They both sit quietly for a little while.

“Do you miss Grandfather?”

“Oh yes, all the time,” Grandmother admitted, pushing her hat a little further over her eyes to block the rising sun, “But that’s okay.” If I didn’t miss him, then what's the point? It’s healthy, missing him. You see, this is all temporary." Grandmother pauses, looks around. "We get excited in the spring when we see these trees fill up with peaches. It’s beautiful. But like a fifty-six year marriage, it has to end some time."

Heather sits motionless, contemplating what Grandmother just said. She stares at an old peach on the ground, then notices Grandmother's wrinkled hand. Heather abruptly gives her Grandmother a big awkward hug, catching her off guard. They hold each other in the hot Alabama sun with teary eyes, and happy faces.

About twenty feet away, a deer appears out of the woods that border the peach field. Grandmother and Heather still engaged, look at the deer, then one another, and smile.

“You ready Heather?” Grandmother asks.

“Always.”

They both pull 9mm glocks from the small of their backs and begin unloading a round of lead into Bambi. Smoke is everywhere, the smell of sulphur overpowers the peach fragrance. As they shoot, both Heather and Grandmother have the same slack-jawed expression---like two Stephen Hawkings shooting a deer. Finally they run out of bullets. The smoke begins to clear.

“Daddy will love this one for his collection!” Heather says to Grandmother. “Hey Linda, we have another animal that needs stuffing!” Linda looks at the two ladies quietly through the kitchen window, shakes her head, takes a swig of whiskey. Linda does that a lot.

St. Louisans and name-dropping.

2009-11-22T20:20:00.000-08:00

My friend, Kevin O'Holleran once told me that St. Louisans name-drop about everything that comes out of St. Louis. At first I wanted to tell Kevin to suck an egg, but the more I thought about it, he was right.

So I present Mad Men's John Hamm, in a St. Louis Blues commercial:

One of the best things I've seen all year.

2009-11-15T21:11:00.000-08:00

Divorce Court is a show that's pretty self explanatory. But this show in particular, is ridiculous. Alex is divorcing Thom because he is convinced that the end of the world is coming in 2012.

Watch this short video from this facebook link here.

BUT, this video is extra funny to me because Thom and Alex are good friends of mine and it's totally fake. (The group picture is of my old improv team with Thom and Alex.)

Thom and Alex are actors living in LA and are happily engaged. And Thom is one of the funniest people I will ever meet.

This song, version.

2009-11-13T17:23:00.000-08:00

One of favorite songs by Palace Brothers. Will Oldham voice sounds so much 'sweeter' live.

What I'm listening to now.

2009-11-13T12:37:00.000-08:00

(I don't think I need to explain why I like this--It's Bill Monroe.)

Bringing back the bow tie.

2009-11-10T22:57:00.000-08:00

I've seen some photos recently of Wes Anderson donning a bow tie and this got me thinking, "hey, I can pull that off, maybe."

I've always respected the bow tie, but never considered wearing one. They were always too Nation-of-Islamy, too George Willy.

Since I'm a whore for Wes Anderson, I may give it a try. In the next few months, I'll teach myself to tie one, try on a few to see how they look, and maybe wear one to a proper occasion.

(Please note that I will take into consideration how a bow tie could make me look like a fucking idiot or a pretentious fuck. I am aware of this risk, that is why I will be workshopping this fashion statement, before having it go 'live.' Wish me luck.)

Reverse-sexism

2009-11-08T13:37:00.000-08:00

While flipping through a neighborhood coupon book, I came across this.

(I apologize for the quality---I scanned it)

It's a photo of a guy getting a haircut while watching sports on two different TV's. And he's getting a shitty haircut. This reminds me of those barber shops for kids where the chairs look like cars and airplanes. This also reminds me of some of the sexist ads of the 50's/60's towards woman.

The Apartment Therapy Smallest Coolest Competition

2009-11-05T11:17:00.000-08:00

Apartment Therapy is a great site, I get their daily emails. Over the past few years, I've followed their 'Smallest Coolest' contest.

This competition used to be split up into regions (West Coast, Midwest, East Coast). Now it's based on size (Teeny-Tiny to Small).

On the site, you can check out photos of all the finalists (for example, in the Teeny Tiny division, the apartment sizes are like 200sq feet).

It's really great if you're a fan of urban living and economy of space. I also enjoy the entries that come from people with not a lot of money. They are more creative.

http://contests.apartmenttherapy.com/2009/small-cool/

Dreaming dreams that are fun, positive.

2009-11-02T12:43:00.000-08:00

I had a dream I was at a small club, like the Hideout, and The Replacements were playing on the radio. Then I realized The Replacements were performing on the back stage, but only a dozen people were watching, because most of the patrons didn't know The Replacements. Actually, I was unsure if it was a Replacements reunion or just Paul Westerberg and his band (can't remember what the Stinsons looked like). After the set, I was super excited and started talking to Paul, who by this time was eating a ham sandwich. and wearing a Hawaiian shirt. I told him that I love the album Tim, and wished I had a copy for him to sign. He told me that the whole band now works at various concession stands in another city, near a beach. I thought that this was cool and was wishing their stands were in my town.

This quote and Adobe Creative Suite.

2009-10-28T21:50:00.000-07:00

Maybe the quote of the year.

Not Laura Ingraham's Voice.

2009-10-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

If you've heard her, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Buttons, Part 2 of 2

2009-10-24T14:15:00.001-07:00

Went to the Dry Cleaners today. I handed the lady my pink ticket, and she retrieved my jacket. And wouldn't you know it, all of the original seven buttons were on the jacket.

At first I was very happy, and then I felt really really mad.

I leaned over the counter, and whispered, "Hey, you think I'm an idiot?"

The lady, "What?"

"I know you think I'm an idiot, or else you wouldn't have tried stealing my buttons."

"We not steal..."

"Well, I'm not an idiot. I went to college and I read books. And I appreciate wearing tailored jackets with fine buttons."

"Okay."

"Yeah, it's more than okay. It's great. I'm great. And you are not."

I decided I needed to cool off, so I glanced away from her and looked over to the cash register, where I saw a picture of a very pretty Asian woman.

"Who's that?" I said.

"My daughter."

"What's her story?"

"She's in medical school at University of Wisconsin."

"Ah yes, Golden Gophers."

"Ah, yes."

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I started tearing up.

"Listen," I said, "I know you're just trying to make a living and put your daughter through med school. Maybe I overreacted a little bit."

I proceeded to rip all of the buttons off my jacket, while she looked on in disbelief. I reached out my button-filled hand to the lady.

"Here. I hope these pay for your daughters medical school."

She fell to her knees and thanked me. By this time we both had tears in our eyes, and the line of people waiting to get their dry cleaning is out the door.

"You know," I said while smiling, fighting back tears. "I think this jacket may need a few buttons."

This made all of the patrons laugh. I plopped the coat down on the counter, she handed me the pink ticket, and we looked at each other for a moment. A cheery patron yelled out,

"Hey, why don't you kiss her?"

We both looked at the patron, looked at each other and french kissed. Everyone applauded, people were calling their loved ones to tell them they loved them. Everybody was joyous.

As I made my way to the exit, people were shaking my hand and hugging me. I turned around to the lady.

"Hey! When can I see you again?"

"Wednesday," she said.

"Wednesday?"

"Yes, Wednesday....After 5."

(Everything is true except for the dialogue. I got my buttons back, bitches.)

How about a dry cleaners that doesn't try to steal your buttons. Part 1 of 2

2009-10-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

The Brown Elephant thrift store is right near my house.

Last Saturday, while heading to Jewel, I stopped in The B.E. to see if they had anything.

I saw this vintage blue jacket that I really liked. It fit me a little weird though. The arms were too short.

After trying it on two separate times, I talked myself into buying it, and made my way to the corner Dry Cleaners to get the arms taken down.

TIMEOUT: This jacket has gold-colored buttons. It's a three-button front with two buttons on each cuff. I KNOW this jacket had all seven buttons. If it didn't I may have put it back since it would need tailoring AND another set of buttons. You with me? Seven buttons.

TIME IN: I walk into the dry cleaners today. A cinnamon candle was burning; it smelled wonderful. I presented the pink piece of paper and she(same lady) presented the jacket. The arm-length was perfect! A little long but that's how I like it.

Then the buttons. They were blue. Not just that, but the two gold buttons on each cuff were replaced by one blue button OF THE SAME SIZE AS THE THREE IN THE FRONT.

I kindly asked, "what happened to the buttons?"

And she said, "Oh, some were missing. We replace with those, no charge."

Me, "Where are the buttons?"

Her, "Let me see if I find them."

She goes in the back. I think to myself, well, maybe a button dropped in the block from the Brown Elephant to here. But how could it? The jacket was in a bag the whole time.

She comes back. "See, there are only four." She shows me two big ones (from front), and two smaller ones (from the cuff). For a total of four.

"There were two on each cuff. You mean, this jacket was missing three buttons?"

"Oh! Lemme check again."

She comes back with two smaller ones. So now we're missing one big one.

Conclusion: I tell her as kindly as possible that I know I had three buttons on that jacket. I tried the jacket on multiple times at the Brown Elephant, which is literally right across the street. I take the pink slip back, give her the jacket back, and ask her to find that button.

A few Questions and Answers for clarification:

Q: Eric, why do you care so much about the buttons.

A: Good Question. Buttons are very important on certain items of clothing. I bought a blue jacket with gold buttons. That's different than blue/blue.

Q: Eric, why don't you appreciate the cleaners giving you free buttons.

A: I would, if that's what I'd asked for.

Q: Eric, does it bother you the lady presented you four buttons, then six buttons.

A: Yes it bothers me very much.

Q: Does it bother you that the Cleaners was willing to keep the gold buttons?

A: Yes.

Q: Are you offended that they replaced two small cuff buttons with one big button?

A: Yeah, they

probably think I'm some douche bag who bought his first jacket ever.

Q: Could they have honestly lost the button, and you're just blowing this out of proportion?

A: Maybe. BUT, all I asked for was for the arms to be lengthened. Why would you take off six buttons, sew on five? It would take less time to call me (they have my number), and ask me if I want this done. Also, what if I took the jacket in completely aware of the button count? What if I knew it was missing a button? Wouldn't it make sense to ask my permission?

To be continued.......

Uh, Shepard Smith of Fox News.

2009-10-06T16:52:00.000-07:00

I like Shepard Smith of Fox News. Watch these videos and so will you.

To know that even Miles Davis can be lame.

2009-10-05T15:38:00.000-07:00

I love Miles Davis. Kind of Blue is still one of my favorite albums.

If you don't know much about Davis, he changed the face of Jazz music multiple times. He introduced modal jazz (Kind of Blue), and fusion (In a Silent Way, Bitches Brew), among many other variations. But this isn't a posting on jazz history.

I was reading Miles Davis' Wikipedia and discovered something new:

In 1975, Davis stopped performing, practicing all together. Davis started sitting on his couch everyday, watching TV, and doing drugs.

This lasted about four years.

Picture it: Miles Davis watching TV for hours on end. The coolest guy in any room he's ever been in (sorry Coltrane), and he's now a couch potato.

What was he watching in primetime? See for yourself.

It's kind of pathetic to think that guy who recorded Birth of the Cool is now following the story arc of Maude. Davis, who as a young trumpeter, tracked down Charlie Parker just so he could play with him, was now tracking down the next Columbo installment.

Miles Davis during this time was lame.

It's a sad time, but I liked hearing this about Miles Davis.

For one thing, I have finally found something I could relate to with Miles Davis. (If Davis were alive today, we could have a conversation about the Ted Baxter character in Mary Tyler Moore, for example.)

Secondly, drugs are bad, ultimately kill creativity (already knew this).

Lastly, it reinforced in me the importance of NOW as a creative. What are you doing now? What are you pushing now? How are you challenging yourself now?

I don't want to judge Davis too harshly. He probably needed some rest after 30+ years of recording/performing, and I'm sure drugs played a major part. Also, we are talking about a small segment in a very productive life.

But,

as a creative, you are judged (by yourself and your peers), on what you are doing right now. Miles Davis could've hung all of his Gold Records/awards/pictures all around his TV, but at some point he probably looked at himself and said, "Hey! I just watch TV and do drugs."

There are times in your life where you probably felt lame, and other times you felt like a rock star. Doesn't matter. What are you doing now?

Someone once asked David Sedaris when he became a writer. He said,

"I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day."

What you do right now, is who you are.

Getting Broactive.

2009-10-01T19:26:00.001-07:00

Miss your buddies?

Wondering why you haven't hung out with them in a while?

Are you thinking, "Why don't we do anything anymore?"

Well, it's time to stop bitching, pick up the phone and get 'Broactive.'

My Doppelganger?

2009-09-22T17:18:00.001-07:00

Okay, a friend sent this picture to me and said this man looks like me.

Thing I really like:

that someone thinks I look like this dapper dressing, Guiness drinking, unabashedly heterosexual man.

I kiss in public too. I don't care.

What I'm listening to now.

2009-09-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

Mountain Goats + Super Tramp + (5% ELO) + (10% Decemberists minus the pretentious vocabulary) + (.1% Ryan Adams vocals) = fun.

Good positive fall music.

Vintage ads that would never run today.

2009-09-22T06:49:00.000-07:00

I came across this vintage ad. Wow.

If anyone questions if the feminist movement was (is) necessary, needs to look at this ad.

My nephew's outfit choice for his first day of school.

2009-09-10T09:00:00.001-07:00

Camouflage and tie-dye are like Gucci and Armani to a 5 year old.

Well done Nico.

Bella

2009-09-09T14:55:00.000-07:00

Of course I really like my improv group, Bella.

Every Monday, at the Playground Theater. Only $5. BYOB.

This is our new photo. Check out my package.

AD Miles and Horrible People.

2009-09-09T11:21:00.000-07:00

AD Miles is quickly becoming one of my favorite comedy writers.

I always thought he was funny from his work on Stella and in Wet Hot American Summer, but since he's been the head writer on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, I've come to really enjoy his style. On Late Night, they created a mini series that ran every Monday night this past summer called 7th Floor West. If you haven't seen it, it's great. Look it up.

Horrible People, a mini series Miles wrote/produced last year, is my favorite thing right now. (This had to help with his hiring on Late Night). It's a ten part series, with each episode lasting 4-6 minutes. So the whole thing's really short. Please watch it so we can quote it at parties.

The best 44 cents I've ever spent. Ever.

2009-09-08T11:22:00.000-07:00

Oh the old Village Discount record bin comes through every once in a while.

Unless you're a fan of Johnny Mathis or Mitch Miller, there's usually no records worth buying (Seriously, did all of Johnny Mathis's fans die? But I digress).

Today was no different, until I came across an album by Scott Baio. "Oh my God this is hilarious!" I thought. But still, I was a little torn on whether I should by it. I know it's only 44 cents, but if you buy stuff at resale shops based on irony, then eventually you'll accumulate a bunch of crap you never use.

I decided to drop the 44 cents and buy it.

After listening to it once, I have concluded this album is great and definitely worth 44 cents.

Why?

1) It's obviously Scott Baio singing, which makes it wonderful.

2) The lyrics are so bad, they're good.

3) The album has a high production value.

4) It's actually catchy and fun to listen to.

What's the record like?

It sounds like if the bands Air Supply, Huey Lewis and The News, and Hall and Oats created a super-group, made Scott Baio the lead singer, and decided to only write theme songs for sitcoms.

I dropped another 99 cents on Amazon so you could get a taste of the genius.

This one's called, Half the World. (I made a video using footage at a party, where friends helped me with a campaign for the product, Bacon Salt)

Reuniting with old teammates who happen to play in the majors.

2009-08-31T14:36:00.000-07:00

(I must preface this posting by stating that I don't hang out outside Wrigley Field all the time)

The Mets were in town this past weekend and I thought I would say hi to an old friend.

Omir Santos, catcher for the New York Mets, was a teammate of mine back in college. He was not just one of the most talented players I've ever played with, but he was one of the nicest guys. One time, my mother had four of my teammates over for dinner, including Omir. That next week Omir gave me a letter to give to my mother thanking her for the meal. What a guy.

I am not exaggerating when I say this, but I probably spent more time with Omir than any other college teammate. We rode to school together every morning, then went to baseball practice where the catchers (i too was a catcher) would do drills and drills together, go back to our own houses to eat dinner, then drive to the gym where we would workout for about two hours. I kid-you-not, almost everyday for an entire school year.

Why do I feel the need to bring up my old itinerary? Because as I saw Omir for the first time in eight years, I saw the guy I used to do drills with, I saw the guy I used to go to the gym with, I saw the guy that used to hop into my Delta Eighty Eight every morning as we quietly, tiredly, made our way to school.

When I spotted him on Saturday, he was signing autographs for kids. I said, "Hey Pito." (that was his nickname in college). He looked up and said, "oh my God!", and gave me a big hug. We caught up for a little while, he introduced me to his uncle, and we exchanged contact information.

We said a lot of things to each other in the short time we spoke, but as we stood in the backdrop of Wrigley Field, I looked at him and almost whispered, "Omir, you did it."

He replied back in the same quiet voice, "I know."

(Below is a tribute video someone created on Youtube. Santos hit a 9th inning game winning homerun in Fenway that barely cleared the Green Monster. The Umpires had to review it.)

Doing my own sketch of myself without the help of Mr. Gondry

2009-08-31T14:30:00.000-07:00

How you like them apples Michel?

Not Michel Gondry.

2009-08-18T16:36:00.000-07:00

An email from Michel Gondry's staff:

Hello michelgondry.com customer,

We are very sorry to inform you that due to unforeseen circumstances, 
and a recent change in Mr. Gondry’s production schedule, he will not 
be able to complete your sketch within the promised time frame.

Mr. Gondry will not resume drawing personalized sketches until 
February 2010. At that point, all personalized sketches will be 
completed on a first-come first-served basis and as time allows.

If you would like to maintain your order, and wish to wait for your 
portrait, no action needs to be taken on your behalf - your order will 
be fulfilled as indicated above. We apologize but we are unable to 
provide any more specifics in regards to a completion date.

If you do not wish to or are unable to wait, michelgondry.com will 
offer you a full refund in accordance with your original payment 
method. Simply reply to this email to request the refund. It will be 
processed within 5 business days and you will receive a confirmation 
to the email address from which you placed the original order once 
complete.

PLEASE NOTE: Once a refund has been issued, your order will be 
canceled and you will not have the option of re-ordering a 
personalized sketch at the same introductory price of $19.95 in the 
future.

We are very sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you and 
appreciate your understanding. Our fans mean the world to us which is 
why we are willing to accommodate you in the future, however it is 
impossible to do so at this time.

- The Gondry Web Team
www.michelgondry.com

Wrigleyville is SO Good

2009-08-11T16:50:00.000-07:00

October. New York. Top of the ninth. Tied game. Game 2 of the 2006 NLCS.

The heavily favored Mets, after taking Game 1 from the Cardinals, sent all star closer Billy Wagner to the mound to secure the ninth, and hopefully take

a two games to zero lead into St. Louis.

To the plate, the Cardinals sent 160 pound, defensive replacement, Japanese person, So Taguchi.

After battling back from an 0-2 count, Taguchi worked the count full.

And then hit a fucking home run.

The Cardinals ended up winning the game and the series--but that home run was the turning point.

So Taguchi now plays for the Iowa Cubs---The Chicago Cubs AAA affiliate.

The Iowa Cubs played a minor league game at Wrigley Field--my first Sunday living in Wrigleyville. Since I'm only two blocks away,

I decided to meet So and get his autograph.

I hope The Cubs call him up in September. Although Taguchi is 40 years old, he doesn't look it, and he's having a really good season for Iowa.

And although I'm 30, I still think it's okay to get autographs on my baseball cap.

(notice he signed his name in japanese too)

The Term: You must be smoking crack.

2009-07-23T15:26:00.000-07:00

It can be said in several ways:

"Are you on crack?"

"You must be smoking crack."

"What are you smoking?" (crack is the generally accepted answer).

Alright, so I don't really like this term, I just like the idea behind it.

Meaning, I can do almost anything, and as long as I'm on crack at the time, I have an excuse for why I did what I did.

Since Governor Schwarzenegger is proposing the release of prisoners to help California's budget, he should look into all the people that committed crimes while on crack. Because they probably aren't dangerous criminals---they were just smoking crack.

Mocking the mainstream and how the Internet is making it easier to do

2009-07-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

Judd Apatow's new movie, Funny People, stars Adam Sandler as an established comedic movie star named George Simmons.

If you go to george-simmons.com, you'll see movie trailers and film posters for George Simmon's work. Here's a movie trailer of his movie 'Re-Do.'

With the Internet, a character can live with us outside the movie, and if this character has a blog/Facebook page/Twitter, he or she can react to current events, pop culture, and just update the fan on their life.

Now Adam Sandler is probably done with his character, George Simmons. But you take a movie like, This is Spinal Tap. That movie premiered in 1984 and fans had to wait eight years until they 'reunited' in 1992. Now the members of Spinal Tap have done pretty well furthering their characters without the help of the Internet, but just think of how many people would have followed David St. Hubbins's Twitter in the mid 80's.

This God Damned song by The Killers

2009-07-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

Alright, so part of having a blog is being honest.

I've heard this song by The Killers a few times at the gym. It's called Human, and the chorus goes, "are we human, or are we dancers?"

The other day, while I was juicing my pecs, the song came on again, and I was like, "nice." Then I thought to myself, "oh my God, I really really like this song by The Killers."

Then I was like, "Am I an asshole for liking this?"

After much reflecting with myself in the reflection of the gym mirror, I decided that I was not an asshole.

The Killers wrote a fun song with a nice hook. Sometimes that's all you need.

(To watch the video, cut and paste the link below. The Killers won't let me embed the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6r4KT8-VX0)

Michel Gondry Sketch update.

2009-07-03T17:57:00.000-07:00

I received an email about a month ago informing me of a delay due to the popularity of the sketches. So I still don't have the sketch of myself.

But,

I was looking on the website and noticed two things:

1) There are samples of other sketches and they look great.

2) You can now only buy the sketch with a Michel Gondry DVD. And this costs $100.

If you remember, I purchased mine for $20.

Telling people you watched an Ingmar Bergman movie

2009-07-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

As I sat in my cozy apartment, and watched the classic movie, The Seventh Seal, I couldn't help but think of how awesome it will be to tell people about this later. "This could really help me out with the ladies", I thought (maybe).

Watching Bergman is a win/win situation. Even if I had hated The Seventh Seal, I knew after I watched this 96 minute movie, I could say things like,

"I watched Bergman's The Seventh Seal the other night. I really appreciate his take on the human condition."

It's a great movie though. I should watch it again.

Showalter and Black have a new show.

2009-06-27T14:38:00.000-07:00

I love this.

I am a huge fan of the Stella.

Awesome! paper towels

2009-05-20T11:06:00.001-07:00

Right, so who approved this name and why do I love it so much?

It's like the maker is saying, "you know, they're paper towels made by an off-brand. They work similar to other paper towels you've used in the past. Okay? Got it? Awesome!"

The new coach of the St. Louis Rams

2009-05-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

Steve Spagnuolo was hired by the Rams a few months ago after a successful stint as the NY Giants defensive coordinator. My reason for liking him has nothing to do with football (yet), but rather his choice to purchase a home in St. Louis City.

The reason I like this?

St. Louis City has carried a stigma with a lot of people from the St. Louis suburbs----and a lot of white people in the suburbs like the Rams. So hopefully this helps remove the stigma.

What is the Stigma?

The city is fucking dangerous and full of angry minorities who may want to steal your car, and write graffiti everywhere. (pictured)

Example of the Stigma: I found out about Spagnuolo's home purchase through a nice article by Bernie Miklasz in the St. Louis Post Dispatch online paper. On the online paper you can post comments. Here was the first comment:

Sorry Bernie...your advertisement for "city living" falls on deaf ears...with its high crime, high taxes, high insurance rates, pathetic public schools, etc. ...I'll stay here in the western suburbs until the City of St. Louis makes a comeback...won't be in my lifetime! (STL reached its peak in 1904--been a downward spiral ever since!!!)

What a cock sucker. Cities usually have higher tax rates. Cities usually don't have the best public schools. What gets me is the negativity, like the city has betrayed him or something.

There are many cocksuckers in St. Louis, but there are many people like Steve Spagnuolo---people who 'get it.' Sure there are rough pockets St. Louis city, but there are also beautiful areas that are completely safe.

Here's the very next comment on the article, commenting on the cocksucker (the cocksucker's name is Stan):

Absolutely, Stan is right on the mark. Well, truth be told, we really don't want Stan to live in the city but we'll let him think that it is an awful place. We need people to live in the city who have vision, creativity, enthusiam. Restraunts, night clubs, fantastic parks, the arts...who would want that. Stan, I'm sure you're much more comfortable working your way down Manchester everyday. Hey kids, let's count the fast food frarnchises betweeen 270 and Clarkson Road. While your trying to decide which box store to pull into, I'll be working my way through Soulard Market. Here's the biggest secret for you, your suburb is dependent on the city. Your suburb would not be nearly attractive to you if was fifteen miles from Rolla. So as far as I'm concerned, please continue sit out in the suburbs and contribute zero to your community. For the rest of us, let's stop commplaining about the city and start contributing.

Exactly.

If you are not from St. Louis, this is probably not a big deal for you. But being from St. Louis, it's very encouraging to see such a high-profile figure move into the city.

I don't think Spagnuolo moving into the city is going to change the mind of cocksucker-Stan, but hopefully it will give others a renewed interest and make them take a second look--especially young people who'll eventually vote.

(Pictured: Lafayette Square, Spagnuolo's new neighborhood)

A sketch of myself by a famous director.

2009-05-01T11:19:00.000-07:00

I just made a pretty awesome $20 purchase.

Go to director Michel Gondry's website (The Science of Sleep), and you will not only find out this guy likes to sketch, but for only $20, he will sketch you. That's right, pay $20, email him a picture, and in six weeks, you will have a sketch. (I hope Schnabel starts doing this.)

MichelGondry.com

Having fun with words

2009-04-21T09:59:00.000-07:00

As those in my inner circle know, the recent Kat Ping phenomenon has gained cult status.

So here's another word that I made up:

Antweequing

--Definition: The decision to go antiquing after being up for several days due to meth-related reasons.

Example: "After Jill used up all of her meth and still wasn't tired, she decided to go over to the antique district to see if any new 19th century pieces have arrived."

The Phrase, "Benjamin Buttoned"

2009-04-10T17:56:00.000-07:00

I think I made up this phrase, not sure if it already existed.

When you 'Benjamin Button,' you move backward in life or participate in something that one views as a digression or immature.

Here are some examples:

"He was an investment banker, but was recently laid off. Now he mows lawns for cash. Ya, he really Benjamin Buttoned."

"This weekend, I'm going to the comic book store, grab a few lunchables, and try and get through the entire Freaks and Geeks series. You know, really get all Benjamin Buttoned."

"My bro and his wife just bought season tickets to the Bears. They also wear their jerseys every weekend, have a cooler that looks like a football, and refers to the team as 'we.'

I am not watching the game with those Benjamin Buttons."

And that's how it works. Use it.

This song

2009-04-08T08:42:00.000-07:00

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen is a song I really like. It's a high energy song with the lyrics that get more ridiculous as the song progresses.

Sample of the lyrics:

I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars

On a collision course

I am a satellite I'm out of control

I am a sex machine ready to reload

Like an atom bomb about to

Oh oh oh oh explode

I'm burning through the skies Yeah!

Two hundred degrees

That's why they they call me Mister Fahrenheit

I'm traveling at the speed of light

I wanna make a supersonic woman out of you.

Freddie Mercury (who wrote the music and lyrics) wasn't afraid to take chances, be silly, and be himself. I admire this.

Look the song up on Youtube.

Freddie Mercury's a genius.

Chips and Salsa at Mexican Restaurants

2009-04-07T15:43:00.000-07:00

Think about it;

You never have to wait for food at a Mexican restaurant. You can walk by a Mexican restaurant and say, "I would like chips and salsa in about 90 seconds," and you will have chips and salsa in about 90 seconds. It's an amazing snack and it's free.

Some may say, "well, what about the bread and butter they give you at Italian restaurants."

Sorry, it's not the same. Bread and butter something your grandma gives you to quell hunger pains. So shut the f-up with your stupid bread and butter argument.

Plus, there's more care put into the making of chips and salsa. I like to think the salsa is made by some big Mexican old lady who guards this secret family recipe with her heart. And is good about washing her hands.

Drinking a Beer in the Shower

2009-04-06T10:02:00.000-07:00

I really like drinking beer in the shower. The combination of the hot shower and the cold beer really feels good.

A few recommendations:

Type of beer:

Choose a light beer. Thinner beer stays colder longer.

Type of container:

I like a bottle, you just have to be careful. If you are drinking more than two in the shower, then you may want to go with cans.

Type of shower:

An evening or weekend shower. Preferably after a long day of work or before you go out on a Saturday. A morning shower would be super depressing, unless you're on vacation or something.

Music:

You should listen to music while doing this. I recommend something life-affirming.

(Note: Some people mistaken drinking a beer in the shower for some sign of alcoholism. Well, it's not.)